


Do not put fire in my heart - I will burn

by CoveredinLemons



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Strawberry Panic
Genre: F/F, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:47:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2289149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoveredinLemons/pseuds/CoveredinLemons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hagrid goes to the zoo</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shizuma put the red beaded Etoile necklace into her booty. She sigh all contented. "Do not love me for who i was, love me for who i am now" and then she punched a preist in the face.  
Nagisa-san was eating a grape at the time, and felt a shiver down her spine as she noticed the gongs on via osmosis.


	2. Chapter 2

today was the day of death.  
Nagisa-san was walking down a lane in hogwarts when the Potter boy slapped the brick wall adjasent to her. She appraised him.  
"Sir, why are you so angry?" She advanced towards him, cautiously.  
"Spoopy." Whispered Potter forlornly, his face screwed up in pain.  
Nagisa-san could only nod and walk away, leaving him to his thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

It was on the third day of school exams when Shizuma-sama realised that the red necklace of Etoile she had inserted into her anus three weeks previously had never come out. She was so stressed about this realisation, that she did not sleep that night, or study. She infact, realised this when she was supposed to be answering a partially tricky maths question about science.  
Her urine was blue for days.


	4. Chapter 4

Anastasia had never expected to give Potter a blow job, but as she sat kneeled in a cubicle in the girls bathroom - his large lumpy green cock in mouth and moaning myrtle masturbating on the toilet behind them, she wondered how she had ever expected to avoid this situation.  
Her grandmother had her shot later that evening, because she insulted her spinach puffs. 

Karma is only a bitch if you are.


	5. Chapter 5

Nagisa-san hated men.  
It wasn't just because their penises usually smelt suspiciously of broccoli, it was also because of their tendencies towards murder and other badnesses that had driven her away from them.  
Potter loved men.  
And not just because he was a massive fucking homo. But because he loved their muscularity, their square jaws, their undeveloped breasts. However, he too hated the smell of broccoli, and thus was forced to marry a bitch woman - the red head who's name he'd had to write down in his diary in order to remember it - to avoid being plunged into it's pungent odours during coitus and various other activities one does with a lover.  
Shizuma-sama loved broccoli, and thus smeared herself with it daily. She had broccoli cream, broccoli tooth paste, broccoli shoes and broccoli fingers.  
Thus When Nagisa and Shizuma met, there was a great confusion on Nagisa-san's part -despite Shizuma-sama's large breasts, long hair and various other obtusely feminine traits- as to whether Shizuma was actually a female.  
Nagisa got a whiff of that broccoli paste and was turned away. Deeming the older woman irrelevant and unattractive.  
This inspired Shizuma-sama to write the hit song 'nice guys finish last' and consider growing a beard.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hagrid goes to the zoo

Hagrid went to the zoo.  
Potter was there, shrunken, and kept in a jar.  
He whispered desperately to his parental figure. "Rescue me."  
Hagrid surveyed the young captive. "Got better things to do." He grunted after a while, and then went home from the zoo.  
The exhibits were lame anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

Ever since Potter had first seen one when he was 11, he had always been sexually attracted to brooms.  
Nagisa-san begged him desperately.  
"Don't marry a broom, Harry, the wizarding world won't take to it kindly!" But Potter punched her in the face and did it anyway.  
Three weeks to the day of his happy ceremony, Potter woke up in his four-poster bed which he now shared with his firebolt and his estranged wife, who oddly, recently had taken to sleeping on the couch -. He woke covered in sweat and filled with a morose feeling. An owl hooted at the window and he roes to let it inside, whispering to his broom 'be right back honey' and kissing it's bristles. The owl was carrying a note, Potter unravelled it and saw the words  
'ur marriage is 2spoopy' he felt his blood run cold and he fainted.  
Harry Potter got a divorce the very next morning.


End file.
